gremlinIn
Gremlin Capital
Financial Services
Apply for a jobfree · 3 clicks

Information

FoundedNobody remembers
ChainRobinhood Chain
Headcount10,000
Supervisors0
MintFREE FOR SOME
PayrollEvery epoch
LicensedYes*

*no

Photos (10,000)

Staff portraits. Taken on the first day. Nobody has smiled since.

Applications

📋 Payroll
📉 Research
🧻 Toilet Paper Archive
🚨 Margin Calls (1,204)
🗄️ Compliance (offline)

Gremlin Capital UNVERIFIED

Fully onchain economy on Robinhood Chain · 10,000 employees · 0 supervisors
WallJobs PeoplePhotos

Jobs · 1 open position

Broker — full time, every epoch, forever

Gremlin Capital · Robinhood Chain · No experience required · No experience preferred
Cost to join
NOTHING
Pay
Royalties
Supply
TBA
Date
TBA
1
Get on the roll. Asking costs nothing. No presale, no allowlist auction, no place for sale. Apply and you are hired. What you pay at the mint is payroll's business — for some of the staff it is nothing.
2
Send him to work and pick a side. Each epoch he clocks in and calls the market: LONG or SHORT. One call, no take-backs.
3
The pot goes to whoever was right. Royalties pool up all epoch. At the close the whole pot is split between the gremlins who called it correctly.
CALLED IT RIGHTsplits the pot
CALLED IT WRONGgets nothing, goes again
What that looked like last epoch
On shift1,204 gremlins
Called LONG812
Called SHORT392
Market closedUP
812 gremlins split the entire epoch pot between them.
392 gremlins got nothing. They kept their desks and are back on shift right now.

Leverage sets the size of the swing, not the odds. A 1x gremlin is boring and mostly correct. A 100x gremlin is wrong a third of the time and occasionally makes a quarter's numbers by accident. Payroll halves every year, so the gremlins hired first are on the best contract anyone will ever get here.

APPLY — IT IS FREE →

Three clicks and a wallet address. Nobody has ever been rejected.

Try a shift — nothing at stakeLIVE

—

—
LEVERAGE Boring. Almost never blows up.
YOUR CALL One call per epoch. No take-backs.
PAID
0SHIFTS
0PAID
—HIT RATE
0$SKIM EARNED
Pick a side and clock him in. He has nothing else on.

On shift right now

1,204 GREMLINS CLOCKED IN EPOCH 5 · 04:11:38 REMAINING

Apply — Broker (FREE TO APPLY · no experience required)

Apply in three clicks

Do the three things below, then leave your wallet. That is the entire hiring process.

✓
1. Follow @gremlin_capital We will follow you back. We follow everyone. It means nothing.
Follow →
✓
2. Like and repost the latest post Dr. Kurtosis takes it personally when you do not.
Open post →
✓
3. Post that you applied "I just applied to Gremlin Capital." That is the whole reference check.
Post it →

Every application is reviewed. None is rejected. 0 submitted in this session.

The WallLIVE

What is on your mind? (the gremlins cannot read it)
Gremlin Capital about an hour ago

EPOCH 4 CLOSED. Payroll has run. Staff who called long have been paid out of royalties. Staff who called short have been spoken to. Payroll is every epoch. Entry is still free.

Epoch 4 — P&L (internal, do not forward)
Like · Comment (2,104) · Share (190)
Dr. Blorbo Kurtosis 6 hours ago

I have revised my model. The new model also says short.

Research note — NFT index, post-launch
Like · Comment (388) · Share (4)
Gremlin Capital yesterday at 4:58pm

Every application is reviewed. None has ever been rejected. Drop your 0x in the form above and HR stamps it. He does not read them. He has never read one.

HR — Tuesday, 14:02
Like · Comment (517) · Share (61)
Skeeb Tendies yesterday at 11:02am

is writing wallet addresses onto toilet paper by hand. nobody told me how many there would be

Skeeb, hour nine
Like · Comment (903) · Share (22)
Gremlin Capital last Friday

Company photo. Attendance was mandatory. Two are missing. One is behind the plant. One we cannot account for.

Gremlin Capital — all staff, 2026
Like · Comment (1,441) · Share (310)
Gremlin Capital is hiringFree to apply · every application reviewed · none rejected Apply — it is free →